


Newton’s Third Law

by Burrahobbit



Category: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Drift Side Effects, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Nightmares, POV Hermann Gottlieb, Pining, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sharing a Bed, Spoilers for Pacific Rim Uprising, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-24
Updated: 2018-03-24
Packaged: 2019-04-07 09:46:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14078187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Burrahobbit/pseuds/Burrahobbit
Summary: For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. The statement means that in every interaction, there is a pair of forces acting on the two interacting objects.(Or, how Hermann deals after they saved the world, and how he doesn’t.)





	Newton’s Third Law

**Author's Note:**

> Uhhhhh so Pacific Rim: Uprising has left me broken. I’ve never written Newmann before, although I’ve been a fan of the ship for a long time. Uprising has rekindled the fire that blazes in my heart for these two.
> 
> Alsoooo y’all notice how out of character Hermann was acting?? That’s definitely Drift side affects, right?? So yeah that’s what this is about, based on my own personal theory.

In the moment, Hermann Gottlieb hadn’t bothered to sort out his feelings about the Drift.

The world was ending, and they needed to keep that from happening. That was the extent of his thought processes.

It all rushed to him that night, lying in bed after the small celebration had been done.

It was quiet, and still, and when Hermann closed his eyes, he could still see flashes of alien beings and destruction.

It’s only after an hour that he finally rose from the bed, not even bothering to change as he put on some shoes and headed towards the door.

As Hermann opened it, he was face with a disheveled Newton Geizler, hand poised to knock.

With a sheepish grin, Newton said, “well, seems like we had a similar idea, eh?”

Rolling his eyes, Hermann stepped aside, letting the other man enter.

His room was a mess, to be frank - if it weren’t for the end of the world, and now his complete exhaustion, Hermann would have cleaned up sooner.

“I apologize for the mess-“

“Mess? Dude, this is way cleaner than I ever manage to keep my room.”

_Of course._

Newt quietly inspected some of the papers on his desk, becoming disinterested with them in moments.

“Geez, Herm, your handwriting is impossible to read,” he teased.

Hermann didn’t bother with “that’s Dr. Gottlieb to you” or “perhaps if you invested in a proper mathematical education,” he just sat down on his bed, sighing.

“Hermann?”

The use of his full name actually startled him a little. “Yes, Newton?”

With a shaky smile, he sat down beside Hermann, careful not to jostle his bad leg.

“We did it, man. We saved the world.”

“As you have pointed out multiple times, yes.”

The smile dropped from Newton’s face, his expression becoming distant.

“Then why doesn’t it feel good? Why do I just feel... empty?”

After a moment of consideration, Hermann put his arm around the other scientist.

“I feel quite the same.” He paused. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about what we saw. In the Drift.”

Newton tensed, looking resolutely at the ground.

“I- I’m guessing you mean the crazy alien shit, right?”

It took a moment for Hermann to puzzle through the meaning of his words.

“...Though we may have seen things about one another we would rather the other not know, I believe we’re both above using that.”

This time, Newton’s smile, though small, was genuine, body leaning into Herman slightly.

“Awww, you don’t really hate me!”

“The very idea of that is preposterous, Newton - of course I don’t hate you. I would not have dealt with your insolence this long otherwise.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know, but it’s nice to actually hear you say that. And hey, you used my first name! Progress, my man.”

There was silence, neither entirely sure what to say.

“I’m so exhausted, but I can’t sleep,” Hermann said softly.

“I know. Me too.”

“I’m not entirely sure what to do.”

Taking a deep breath, Newton asked, “could I sleep here tonight? I just... don’t think I can be by myself right now.”

“Yes, that’s- that would be fine.”

Newton stands up, toeing off his shoes. “Your bed, man, so you get first pick.”

A being of habit, Hermann positioned himself exactly as he did every other night - close to the wall, on his side, pillow between his legs.

Only seconds later, he felt Newton lay down beside him, shimmying under the covers.

He stilled, and Hermann finally relaxed.

“So,” Newt began. “What exactly is your policy on touching? Because, like, I’m cool with no contact, but I tend to get a little grabby when I sleep and I figure ‘well Hermann might hate that, better let him know’ and I wanted to make sure-“

“Just shut up and get over here,” Hermann grumbled.

Immediately, he felt Newton shift closer.

“Where should I...?”

“Just do what feels comfortable. I’ll let you know if it’s _particularly_ annoying.”

Chuckling, Newton wrapped one arm around the man’s middle, pressing his face into Hermann’s back.

“Night.”

“Good night.”

 

It was nowhere near the last time this arrangement had taken place, as many nights afterward, the two shared a bed to comfort each other.

They had both changed ever so slightly, after the Drift.

Newt became a little more focused, remembering to take his meds more often, tidying up his room from time to time, being the first one to go get lunch instead of forgetting to eat for the whole day.

Oppositely, Hermann was a bit less orderly and strict than before, letting the stack of papers on his desk grow, forgetting where he’d propped his cane at random intervals, accepting and even seeking regular affection.

They bled together at the edges, closer now than they ever were before.

And then, Newton began to change.

Where he was once open and emotional, he became more and more closed off. He spent nearly all his time in the lab, even at Hermann’s insistence that he needed a break.

Then came the job offer.

A new company named Shao Industries was just beginning to make its mark, and it needed scientists.

They asked both Newton and Hermann to come.

Hermann had immediately declined - his place was here in K-Science, not in some industry lab.

Newton took the offer. Two weeks later, he was gone.

It was quite possibly the worst day of Hermann’s life - the day Hermann realized he was in love with Newt, but felt paralyzed, unable to say anything to make his partner stay.

They had each other’s emails, of course, but not having Newton beside him was an agonizing pain in itself.

He’d never truly appreciated Newt until the man was gone.

K-Science was making a comeback, after they’d saved the world. They’d upgraded from the ‘dome to a much bigger lab, now bustling with other scientists. Yet, even with all these people, it felt empty without Newton by his side.

Hermann tried throwing himself into his work and ignoring the problem, but that only seemed to make it worse, making it fester like an open wound.

Instead, he held close to what little of Newton he had left.

There wasn’t a lot, honestly - Newt hadn’t left much behind. Hermann cursed at himself for being so thorough when helping him pack.

They emailed occasionally, but those were sparse at best, considering how busy the other man had become.

There was still something left of Newt, however - the imprint left in the Drift.

So, Hermann pretended.

He got into biology, finding it much easier to comprehend than he remembered.

He would leave his lab a mess, and roll his eyes, telling himself to remind Newton it was his turn to clean. When he’d forgotten to turn the light off in the bathroom at night, he’d smile in the morning, pretending it was just Newt up early for once.

Admittedly, it was unhealthy. Hermann would never dispute that.

But if it helped, and didn’t bother anyone else, then why fix it?

Hermann had gotten used to Newton’s embrace - the man was always touching him somewhere when they talked, whether it be leaning against him, touching his arm, grasping his shoulder, giving him a side-hug, or any number of very _Newt_ gestures.

Except, now that Newton was gone, Hermann was more touch starved than ever, finding himself doing many of those same things to friends.

Mako Mori was particularly amused by it, citing that the two had become more alike than ever.

When Hermann finally sees Newton again face-to-face, it’s an extreme relief. After so long of this deterioration, he’s practically hanging off of Newton’s every word.

They don’t get to talk much, with how packed Newton’s schedule is.

He mentions dinner with Alice - someone Newt had mentioned before, and whom Hermann had hoped sorely was just a fling - and Hermann declines, despite the ache in his heart as he does so.

 _This is enough,_ Hermann tells himself. It’s not, and it never will be, but maybe if he keeps telling himself that, he can pretend, just as he’s always done.

He doesn’t even notice the signs that Newton is so far gone.

And by the time he does, it’s much too late.

**Author's Note:**

> I really want to write some more Newmann stuff after this movie so we’ll see if I have the energy and ideas to actually make anything.


End file.
